Plaudits for (Post-Election) Audits
Plaudits for (Post-Election) Audits
(by Mark Lindeman; Presented at the EVT/WOTE 2009 Rump Session)
Say you’re eager to be voting, on some candidates you’re doting,
While you’re waiting in the polling place this thought might give you pause...
Who was it who configgered, and maybe subtly jiggered
The machines that say who’s president and who will write our laws?
I hope they all mean kindly, but we needn’t trust them blindly,
Or cross our fingers hoping all that stuff will work just fine.
We won’t rely on vapor, we’ll let voters vote on paper,
Then some post-election audits can confirm the bottom line.
Friends, raise your joyful plaudits to post-election audits
Where we count some votes by hand to check the work of the machines.
It might sound esoteric, or tiresomely numeric
But democracy’s at stake, so let’s make sure those counts are clean.
Well, perhaps you run elections and you use the best protections
But some pesky voting activists, they will not be appeased...
If they seem unduly pensive, don’t get angry or defensive,
Some post-election audits will help put their minds at ease!
Brilliant experts work with vigor to implement due rigor
So results can be confirmed before the winners are announced
That negative exponential, it sure does have potential
And PPEBWR, it would too, if it could only be pronounced.
Let’s offer up our plaudits to post-election audits
It’s just plain common sense to check the count, to measure twice,
It strikes me as moronic to place faith in electronics
Y’know everything goes better when you use ten-sided dice.
Be you populist or wonky, be you elephant or donkey,
Green, Reform or independent, it matters not to me...
Let’s make vote verification America’s trendy destination
’Coz it’s democratic bedrock, and on that we can agree.
Yes, let’s sing ecstatic plaudits to our post-election audits
Where we count some votes by hand to see the facts in open sight
There’s no need to sit and wonder if the outcome was a blunder
When a post-election audit can ensure we get it right.